Letter - Shift the Script

Letter


Dear Mom and Dad,

I live in fear of your discovering that I no longer believe what you taught me. I still perform all my duties, I offer the Fajr every morning faithfully, but only as a way to keep you from suspecting. I wish I had the courage to tell you the truth. And maybe one day I will. But what will you say then? Will you still love me? Or will you cast me out? I can't bear the thought of that. But I also can't bear the lie I am living. Whatever happens know that I love you. #inthecloset

Anonymous

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Dear world,

I wish I could come out to you as an ex muslim. Announce it like it was my wedding and have you celebrate it like it was pride in a western world. But sadly, I cannot. Not yet. I have too many eyes on me and too many expectations holding me down as the good girl.

I so wish to not constantly think about my identity and how I could wear it without getting shunned for it. Thankfully, I live in a safer space where people may not kill me for my non religiosity but my parents, they're going to be so broken if they ever get to know.

But I can't help myself. I cant live a lie even if it means that it would keep the peace within family but I'm far too broken and hurt and I need to find my peace.

I wish I could scream my identity out and I will someday. But until then, I'll just keep whispering here and telling you, I'm an ex Muslim and I'm so glad I left my religion. You should celebrate with me.
Dear Mother,
I don’t know if you’ll ever see this letter. I know you said you never wanted to speak to me again. I hope that isn’t true. I want you to know I miss you, I love you, and I’m ok. I don't know if you know I had some death threats when I left Islam, and for a year or so I genuinely lived in fear. I am at peace now, with myself and with the world. Every day I think about you. If you get a chance, I’d love to hear your voice sometime. Maybe next eid al-fitr?

All the love I know how to offer,
K

#dearmother #atheist
Dear Mom and Dad,

I live in fear of your discovering that I no longer believe what you taught me. I still perform all my duties, I offer the Fajr every morning faithfully, but only as a way to keep you from suspecting. I wish I had the courage to tell you the truth. And maybe one day I will. But what will you say then? Will you still love me? Or will you cast me out? I can't bear the thought of that. But I also can't bear the lie I am living. Whatever happens know that I love you. #inthecloset

Anonymous
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