Letter - Shift the Script

Letter


To my beloved father,

When I look back on my life, all I can see is you following and supporting me all my life.
Whenever you took me to enjoy swimming in the Caspian Sea, you taught me to get connected to nature spiritually and to feel God’s presence everywhere. You taught me to fight for my life and believe and to never give up.

I remember your embarrassment when I questioned your belief. I remember the worry in your eyes when I talked about my doubts, my future and my ambitious plans for life. I remember your loneliness when you realized I am grown enough to pursue my dreams, and when you realized you cannot keep me near you to provide protection against all the odds in the world. And I remember you broke when I expressed my fear of death, because you knew you could not protect me from this. But even under these circumstances, what you taught guided me to the right direction. You didn’t have answers for all my questions, but you taught me to be fair, to be right, to forgive, to love, to be respectful, and to believe in God.

During my entire life, I was always searching for meaning in life. I craved for the truth and looked for something to soothe my thirsty soul. And I found all my answers in Christ. I found love, grace, and freedom in Jesus. To calm my deep-rooted fear in life, I found eternity in him.
This might hurt you or even embarrass our family that your little girl abandoned your religion and beliefs. You might feel shame and even betrayed, but I am sure you will forgive me if you know I am happy and free, and eternal. Your little girl isn’t afraid of anything in this world because she found a loving Lord that she can rely on and rest upon under any circumstances, even in her most frightening journey, death.

BB

#dearfather #christian

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Dear world,

I wish I could come out to you as an ex muslim. Announce it like it was my wedding and have you celebrate it like it was pride in a western world. But sadly, I cannot. Not yet. I have too many eyes on me and too many expectations holding me down as the good girl.

I so wish to not constantly think about my identity and how I could wear it without getting shunned for it. Thankfully, I live in a safer space where people may not kill me for my non religiosity but my parents, they're going to be so broken if they ever get to know.

But I can't help myself. I cant live a lie even if it means that it would keep the peace within family but I'm far too broken and hurt and I need to find my peace.

I wish I could scream my identity out and I will someday. But until then, I'll just keep whispering here and telling you, I'm an ex Muslim and I'm so glad I left my religion. You should celebrate with me.
Dear Mother,
I don’t know if you’ll ever see this letter. I know you said you never wanted to speak to me again. I hope that isn’t true. I want you to know I miss you, I love you, and I’m ok. I don't know if you know I had some death threats when I left Islam, and for a year or so I genuinely lived in fear. I am at peace now, with myself and with the world. Every day I think about you. If you get a chance, I’d love to hear your voice sometime. Maybe next eid al-fitr?

All the love I know how to offer,
K

#dearmother #atheist
Dear Mom and Dad,

I live in fear of your discovering that I no longer believe what you taught me. I still perform all my duties, I offer the Fajr every morning faithfully, but only as a way to keep you from suspecting. I wish I had the courage to tell you the truth. And maybe one day I will. But what will you say then? Will you still love me? Or will you cast me out? I can't bear the thought of that. But I also can't bear the lie I am living. Whatever happens know that I love you. #inthecloset

Anonymous
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