Letter - Shift The Script


Dear Mom and Dad,

I'm sorry that I was born this way. I'm sorry I couldn't be the perfect son you always dreamed of. I'm sorry for being so selfish that the only way I can be happy is by doing things that make you sad and disappointed in me.

While you see all those perfect children with perfect mothers, you're raising a rebellious kid who value their independence above all else. I know you may feel jealous that they are so perfect and I'm not, that they are so close to God and I've completely abandoned him; that I've flat out distanced myself and rejected my culture while they embrace it.

I'm sorry that I want to make myself happy by breaking the chains that held me back for so long, and I feel horrible and jealous that my happiness comes at the cost of your misery.

I realize I do not have the courage to say this to you directly, but I hope that when I do, you'll still see me as the son you love more than anyone else.


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I love you daughter,

I have been trying to find a way to contact you since you left. You have made yourself hard to find, and after what happened with your father, I understand why. If I could see you I would, I don't care anymore what the consequences would be. Family is family and you are family, forever. I pray for you five times a day, I beg Allah you are safe, that you are well, that you are happy and that you are not living in fear. One day we will meet again, I promise. I promise.

Dear Sister

I miss you. I know my leaving the faith hurt you, but I want you to know I never meant that. I wish I had not been so argumentative. I wish I hadn’t tried to convince you that the earliest ahadith embraced flat earthism. I respect your beliefs and I wish more than anything that we could just talk again, I’d give anything for that. If you ever see this letter, know I’m open for a coffee anytime. Just call. #dearsister #agnostic


Dear Mom and Dad,

I live in fear of your discovering that I no longer believe what you taught me. I still perform all my duties, I offer the Fajr every morning faithfully, but only as a way to keep you from suspecting. I wish I had the courage to tell you the truth. And maybe one day I will. But what will you say then? Will you still love me? Or will you cast me out? I can't bear the thought of that. But I also can't bear the lie I am living. Whatever happens know that I love you. #inthecloset

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