Letter | Shift The Script


Dear Mom and Dad,

I'm sorry that I was born this way. I'm sorry I couldn't be the perfect son you always dreamed of. I'm sorry for being so selfish that the only way I can be happy is by doing things that make you sad and disappointed in me.

While you see all those perfect children with perfect mothers, you're raising a rebellious kid who value their independence above all else. I know you may feel jealous that they are so perfect and I'm not, that they are so close to God and I've completely abandoned him; that I've flat out distanced myself and rejected my culture while they embrace it.

I'm sorry that I want to make myself happy by breaking the chains that held me back for so long, and I feel horrible and jealous that my happiness comes at the cost of your misery.

I realize I do not have the courage to say this to you directly, but I hope that when I do, you'll still see me as the son you love more than anyone else.


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Dear Mom and Dad,

I live in fear of your discovering that I no longer believe what you taught me. I still perform all my duties, I offer the Fajr every morning faithfully, but only as a way to keep you from suspecting. I wish I had the courage to tell you the truth. And maybe one day I will. But what will you say then? Will you still love me? Or will you cast me out? I can't bear the thought of that. But I also can't bear the lie I am living. Whatever happens know that I love you. #inthecloset

Dear Mohammed (For your safety, I will not use your real name),

I must be honest with you. When you rejected the faith of your father and my fathers and their fathers before them, it caused me great hurt. The hurt was real and it was deep and at the time, I thought it was an unforgivable hurt, which is why I sent you away, why I stopped speaking to you. But now I wish I had not done so. It has taken me many years to be able to admit this myself. And i'm not sure I am ready to admit it to you yet, which is why for now I am writing it here. Hopefully soon I will find us face to face and I will have the chance to tell you I am sorry. And that you may no longer be a muslim but you will always be my son.


#dearson #muslim #imsorry
I love you daughter,

I have been trying to find a way to contact you since you left. You have made yourself hard to find, and after what happened with your father, I understand why. If I could see you I would, I don't care anymore what the consequences would be. Family is family and you are family, forever. I pray for you five times a day, I beg Allah you are safe, that you are well, that you are happy and that you are not living in fear. One day we will meet again, I promise. I promise.

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