Letter - Shift The Script

Letter


My son,

I have wanted to send you this letter every day. But I fear the consequences if anyone at home found out. I want to be cast out myself no more than I ever wanted to cast you out. I want you to know that even though they call you murtadd, I do not think of you as a murtadd. I think of you as my son, whom I love and whom I miss dearly.

Your father

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Dear world,

I wish I could come out to you as an ex muslim. Announce it like it was my wedding and have you celebrate it like it was pride in a western world. But sadly, I cannot. Not yet. I have too many eyes on me and too many expectations holding me down as the good girl.

I so wish to not constantly think about my identity and how I could wear it without getting shunned for it. Thankfully, I live in a safer space where people may not kill me for my non religiosity but my parents, they're going to be so broken if they ever get to know.

But I can't help myself. I cant live a lie even if it means that it would keep the peace within family but I'm far too broken and hurt and I need to find my peace.

I wish I could scream my identity out and I will someday. But until then, I'll just keep whispering here and telling you, I'm an ex Muslim and I'm so glad I left my religion. You should celebrate with me.
Dear Sister

I miss you. I know my leaving the faith hurt you, but I want you to know I never meant that. I wish I had not been so argumentative. I wish I hadn’t tried to convince you that the earliest ahadith embraced flat earthism. I respect your beliefs and I wish more than anything that we could just talk again, I’d give anything for that. If you ever see this letter, know I’m open for a coffee anytime. Just call. #dearsister #agnostic

Love,

Sister
Dad, you can't begin to understand what you did to me. Do you think I had a choice? Should I have carried on pretending, lying to myself and to you just to make things easier. That is not how you raised me. You are the one who taught me to value the truth, you are the one who made me live by the code of honesty. And now you are punishing me for it, and what a punishment this is. If I told what these last months have been like you would not believe it. I will spare you the details. But even if you were to beg me my forgiveness, i don't know if I could forgive you. If I could believe in your book, if it would erase everything, I would. But I can't.

SG

#dearfather #agnostic
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