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Letter


Dear Sister

I miss you. I know my leaving the faith hurt you, but I want you to know I never meant that. I wish I had not been so argumentative. I wish I hadn’t tried to convince you that the earliest ahadith embraced flat earthism. I respect your beliefs and I wish more than anything that we could just talk again, I’d give anything for that. If you ever see this letter, know I’m open for a coffee anytime. Just call. #dearsister #agnostic

Love,

Sister

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I love you daughter,

I have been trying to find a way to contact you since you left. You have made yourself hard to find, and after what happened with your father, I understand why. If I could see you I would, I don't care anymore what the consequences would be. Family is family and you are family, forever. I pray for you five times a day, I beg Allah you are safe, that you are well, that you are happy and that you are not living in fear. One day we will meet again, I promise. I promise.

NK
Dear Mohammed (For your safety, I will not use your real name),

I must be honest with you. When you rejected the faith of your father and my fathers and their fathers before them, it caused me great hurt. The hurt was real and it was deep and at the time, I thought it was an unforgivable hurt, which is why I sent you away, why I stopped speaking to you. But now I wish I had not done so. It has taken me many years to be able to admit this myself. And i'm not sure I am ready to admit it to you yet, which is why for now I am writing it here. Hopefully soon I will find us face to face and I will have the chance to tell you I am sorry. And that you may no longer be a muslim but you will always be my son.

Father

#dearson #muslim #imsorry
Dear world,

I wish I could come out to you as an ex muslim. Announce it like it was my wedding and have you celebrate it like it was pride in a western world. But sadly, I cannot. Not yet. I have too many eyes on me and too many expectations holding me down as the good girl.

I so wish to not constantly think about my identity and how I could wear it without getting shunned for it. Thankfully, I live in a safer space where people may not kill me for my non religiosity but my parents, they're going to be so broken if they ever get to know.

But I can't help myself. I cant live a lie even if it means that it would keep the peace within family but I'm far too broken and hurt and I need to find my peace.

I wish I could scream my identity out and I will someday. But until then, I'll just keep whispering here and telling you, I'm an ex Muslim and I'm so glad I left my religion. You should celebrate with me.
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